Hidup bersama Allah

Bismillah..

It’s been a while where ummi always tell me (especially when she felt uneasy on me).. that “hakimah tu anak perempuan, belum kahwin.. bwh tanggungjawab ummi ayah, kena duduk dgn ummi ayah”.. it’s quite hurt, i once cried and told her why can’t i choose my life.. and the word hurt her.. i am really sorry, ummi.. i never wanna hurt you, i am trying my best to ease your life with ayah, i am trying to pay what you have gave to us by bought to you some of modern household paying some bills (no I didn’t ungkit, i just want to tell you that i am thinking for you too..always and forever)..

Tinggal berjauhan dr ummi ayah tapi tidak terlalu jauh..

1. Berjauhan - so that ummi can accompany ayah always.. usually, ummi will ask her daughter/son to accompanying her going anywhere, to cook for them, to spend more time chatting and all.. indeed, ayah is much more important. Since melahirkan from 1 to 15 and raising all 14 her offsprings, all the time was spent to us plus we never have maid.. we always grateful and thanks to you, ummi.. Since old days, i see ayah always want ummi to entertain, to accompany and to be always with him. So this is the time you should spend time more together.. sorry this is just my point of view. 

2. Not too far - This is what i choose: to live in the same state with ummi ayah but different district (sebelah je pun: JB-Tebrau) just to ensure if they need me, ease for me to make it.. Amiin..

3. I am sorry for feeling a bit down when one by one my younger sisters and brothers married and blessed with children. No i never jealous, indeed i am happy to see them granted with marriage. Yes ummi will tell, they didn’t live with ummi and ayah, but everyday you’ll contact them and showed you’re very happy with their life, their children and all. Once again, I didn’t jealous. I am sorry to feel that way. It never your fault, it just myself. So when i live alone, i am more happy because i live with Allah. Alhamdulillah.

May Allah guide me always.. this is just my self ijtihad, might be wrong might be right. To Allah i rely..

Allahu Musta’ann..

rumah Kembia,

Puteri Wangsa.